


Forever On Your Side

by kbl55429



Series: Don’t Be Afraid [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV), Chicago Fire
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbl55429/pseuds/kbl55429
Summary: Evan Buckley gets tired of being treated like garbage, so he goes home, to Chicago.
Relationships: All the friendships - Relationship, Eddie Diaz & Jay Halstead, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Original Characters (mentioned), Stella Kidd/Kelly Severide, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Series: Don’t Be Afraid [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000308
Comments: 34
Kudos: 199





	1. Prologue

**Hershey, Pennsylvania 1997**

Evan Buckley was only five years old when his life was completely uprooted. Maddie, the only person who truly loved him had left and now he was being sent to Chicago to live with complete strangers. Evan had always known Robert Buckley wasn’t his father as the man would never let him forget it. There were only three people in this world that man loved and Evan was not one of them. It was a hard lesson for a five year old to learn but he did and he learned it fast.

From the outside they looked like the perfect family but nobody knew the pain little Evan went through daily. It was never physical but the emotional toll had started to weigh on the toddler.When his mother sat him down and told him he was going to live with his father Evan begged her to let him stay, he hated living with them but it was at least familiar and he knew how to remain unseen. His mother showed him no motherly affection and left him alone crying in his room. A couple days he was being driven away from everything he had ever known. He had no idea his life was about to become much happier and healthy.


	2. Same Scared Little Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucks had enough.

**Los Angeles 2020**

Buck laid in bed staring at the ceiling, sleep was rare these days, ever since he filed that stupid lawsuit it’s been nothing but heartbreak. He felt like that same scared little kid who no one loved. He hasn’t felt like this in twenty three years, he knew Kelly, his father and Shay loved him, even Casey who refused to admit it loved him but they were thousands of miles away. They had tried to convince him to move home at the start but he was dead set on sticking it out and now he was seriously considering a change of scenery. A loud beeping noise brought him out of his thoughts, time to get up and face the day even though he knew how it was going to go.

When he walked into the firehouse, he was met with three people staring at him. He knew today was about to bring change into his life, he just wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. He tried to walk past them but Bobby stopped him.

“Buckley here.” Buck had looked down at what Bobby was handing him, it was a folder.

Buck had a suspicion at what it was, he knew last shift was the final straw. He had finally been let out on a call, it was huge apartment fire and they couldn’t afford being down a firefighter so Buck was allowed to tag along. He had notice Eddie was having a hard time moving and had tried to help only to be met with a glare which then turned into a full out argument. Of course Bobby had heard the whole thing but only yelled at him. It was like he was just waiting for a reason to get mad at him, which he had and it only got worse when they got back to the house. Of course it was only him getting yelled at once again proving how differently Bobby had always treated him. After getting yelled at some more Bobby sent him home for the rest of the shift and his next one.

This was his first shift back from what he now knew was a suspension, he was prepared to be put back on chore duty but what he was not prepared for were transfer papers. He was being sent to the 136 for what was described as a temporary placement.Only he knew that after this he was done with the LAFD for good. He now knew that these people were not his family, his family was waiting for him back in Chicago and that’s where he was going. “It’s effective next shift.” Bobby said without any type of emotion.

“Well alright then.” Buck didn’t have anything else to say. He just shoved the papers back in the envelope and turned and walked away heading towards his locker to get ready for his last shift ever for the LAFD.

When he finished changing he made a one phone call, he had to be sure before he made any final decisions. “Munchkin...” just that one word made him sob into the phone, “Evan, what’s wrong?”

“Kelly...is it still too late to come home?”

“Never.” After a few more words their conversation ended and Buck walked out of the locker room going straight to his chores, all the while not saying a single word to any of them. He was hurt but he knew in the end everything would be okay because Kelly was one person who always had his back. Ever since he was a scared five year old coming to live in a new setting he had never broken one promise he had made him and he knew Kelly wasn’t about to start now.


	3. Munchkin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody messes with Kelly Severides little brother.

**Chicago** **2020**

Kelly Severide was talking to Herrmann and Casey laughing while eating lunch, it had a been a relatively slow day and everything in the house was slowly becoming normal again. Herrmann was telling a story about his and Cindys date the other night, about how some poor soul choked on his food and a doctor in the restaurant had to preformed an emergency tracheotomy. It was never a dull moment with the engine Lieutenant, always having some crazy story. Kelly didn’t know if half the stuff he even said was true but it was still all in good fun, they always say laughter is the best medicine.

  
They talked about a few more random things when his phone rang. When he saw who was calling a huge smile appeared on his face, “Munchkin.” His smile immediately fell when he heard the heartbreaking sob come out of his brothers mouth, “Evan, what’s wrong?”

  
That had gotten Herrmann’s and even Casey’s, who had been trying and failing to subtlety stare at Brett the whole time, attention. He never called his little brother Evan. “Kelly...is it to late to come home?”

“Never.” After a few more words and him assuring Evan that he would take care of everything, they hung up.

“Kelly, what happened?” Shay asked.

“That asshole team of his that’s what.” Kelly grunted out.

“What did he say?” Casey asked.

“Not much, just that they were transferring him to another house and that he wanted to come home.” He didn’t need to say anymore for them to understand where he was going.

Casey just nodded his head and stood up, “let’s go talk to Boden.”

It didn’t take much convincing in fact it took none. Boden knew the type of firefighter Evan was and he knew be would fit in at 51 seamlessly. Losing Otis had been hard on everyone and all three of them knew that Evan was just the person 51 needed. 

“Chief if it’s ok with you l like to take the next couple of shifts off and go get him. He’s not in too great of a place right now and he’s going to need all the support he can get.”

“Of course Kelly, I’ll handle everything and get it all sorted. Go get our boy.” The rest of the shift went by fast and before he knew it he was on a plane heading towards LA.


	4. Just as Protective as Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maddie picks Kelly up from the airport. They have a conversation.

**Los Angeles**   
**The next morning.**

Kelly walked out of the arrivals gate and smiled when he saw Maddie waiting for him. They didn’t start out on the right foot when she first came back into Evans life but after long conversation they put all the bad behind them and started anew. He was glad Buck had had her though something tells him she doesn’t know what Evan has been going through at the 118.

“Maddie.” He leaned in for a hug.

“Hey Kelly. You got everything?” Kelly nodded his head. “Good, then let’s get to the station and maybe on the way you can tell me what’s going on?”

“Of course.” And so he did, he told her mostly everything, he left out the part about Evan moving back to Chicago, that wasn’t his place. When he was done, he could see the anger in every part of her body. He watched her wipe a tear away from her face.

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Come on Maddie you know Evan, he didn’t want to have to make you choose. It’s why he never told you what happened with your parents. He doesn’t like to see himself as a burden. He only told me because I’m thousands of miles away and knows I can’t do anything, plus I don’t know these people, so for me there’s no choice, it’s just him.”

Maddie wiped more tears from her eyes, “he should’ve told me, it’ll always be him.”

Kelly smiled, her protective streak was as big as his. “Exactly.”

Maddie smiled a little. “Damn that man. The world doesn’t deserve him. He’s been through so much and he still has a heart of gold.”

“No, it doesn’t. So let’s meet him at the station and we’ll make sure he knows just how loved he is.” The rest of the drive was silent, Maddie trying to figure out what she wanted to say to everyone and Kelly was just trying to talk himself out of hitting someone.


	5. Respect Is Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck finishes up his last shift at the LAFD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of mental and some physical (which is light, I’m not sure if it counts as physical but just in case) abuse.

He was tired, mentally and physically, everything just ached. The truck had gotten called about about forty five minutes ago, he checked his watch again for what felt like thousandth time since they left. He had only twenty minutes left of his shift, he hopes his luck is in his favor just this once and he could leave before they got back.

He had just finished cleaning the bathrooms and decided to clean the loft floor hoping that would be enough of a distraction. Turned out luck was on his side as his watched beeped marking the end of his shift. He dumped out the water and walked down the stairs and put the mop and bucket back in the storage closet and walked to the locker room.

He had never changed so fast in his life, just as he was tying his shoes he heard the truck pull in and his former captain calling his name. He ignored it, quickly grabbing everything out of his locker including his name tag which snapped in half and threw it in his bag. He was done, he knew Bobby was going to say something but he didn’t care, all the respect he once had for the man was gone.

He took a deep breath and walked out of the locker room and onto the apparatus floor and was met with angered filled eyes. “Buckley, what are you doing?”

“Going home Captain, my shift is over, looks like you’ll have to find some one else to bully. Because I’m done.” Buck tried to walk past him but Bobby grabbed his arm and all the sudden all the courage Buck had worked up was gone and he was that scared five year old in a house full of pain and hate. Buck could see the anger in his eyes and for the first time ever he was actually scared of Bobby. Even that bastard he lived with for the first five of his life never laid a hand on him. Nobody noticed the fear in his eyes, all Bobby could do was yell, at least that’s what he thought he was doing. He couldn’t hear much and he could barely breath, he felt like he was under water again. The next thing he knew the hand squeezing him was gone and his face was in the crook of someone’s neck, it smelled like pine and smoke, he knew that smell, when he looked up he smiled which then turned into sobs as his older brother held him.

“Kelly, take him to the car, I’ll meet you out there in a minute.” Was that Maddie?

  
Kelly nodded his head, “come on munchkin, let’s get you out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it very out of character for Bobby but it happened, everything just flowed as I was writing it. There’s no redemption arc for Bobby, he’ll have to live with what he did for the rest of his life. Though I’d liked to thing he would majorly regret ever grabbing Buck.


	6. All He’s Ever Wanted was Love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protective Maddie.

When she and Kelly walked into the station and she saw the fear in Bucks eyes all she saw red. Maddie had known her father was emotionally abusive towards Buck and she had done everything in her power to make him feel loved and protective but it was hard when she wasn’t there. He was so young and her parents wouldn’t let him go to school, preferring to home school so no one in the town would know that their marriage wasn’t as perfect as it looked.

He was always so hyper and had an imagination so big, to big for her parents, it made him the less then perfect child in their eyes. No kid should have to suffer through that especially a kid with a heart as big as his. She hated to see the light in his eyes slowly fade.

Then they had sent her to that damn boarding school and they would never let her speak to him. When she had finally turned eighteen she was finally able to make her own decisions and what she wanted was to see her little brother. She skipped out on her graduation, left everything she didn’t need and got on a plane back to Pennsylvania. But when she had gotten home to Hershey Evan was gone and she was heartbroken. She did everything she could to find him but she had no help and her parents wouldn’t tell her a thing. She couldn’t go to the police as her parents held a lot of power in their home town, she was lost, she felt like she failed him. She hasn’t spoken to them since.

She had vowed then that when she found her little brother, she’d never leave him again and she would never let someone treat him like he was less then nothing again. It kills her to know that this has been going on without her knowing, she hates that she broke another promise. So when she saw that same fear she saw in Evan as a kid she snapped.

  
“Kelly, take him to the car, I’ll meet you out there in a minute.” 

As soon as she knew Buck and Kelly were clear she looked straight at Bobby Nash and spoke in a low but solid and furious voice, “if you ever put your hands on my brother again I will make sure you regret the day you were ever born.” She stepped back and looked at the others, “you all should be ashamed of yourselves. All Evan has wanted was a to be loved and you made him feel like he was dirt, you’re worse then our parents, at least they never pretended to love him. Congratulations you all probably just lost the best thing to have ever happened to you.” She turned and walked away because she had nothing left to say.

Maddie only made it a few steps before Howie stopped her, when turned around she knew he could see the anger and tears in her eyes, “M-Maddie...”

She put her hand up to stop him, “I don’t want to hear it. You might not have done anything but you sat back and watched it happened which makes it worse. Then you had the nerve to lie to to my face about how well he was doing. Don’t call me for a while, I’ll let you know when I can, if I ever can, bare to look at you again.” She loved Howie but she loved her brother more. He was family and she’s be dammed if she turned her back on him like they did.


	7. Assurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelly does everything he can to assure Evan it isn’t his fault.

Kelly walked his little brother out of there as soon as he could. If he didn’t there was nothing stopping him from starting a fight and that was not what Evan needed right now. He could feel him shaking in his arms, “Hey hey hey, munchkin you have to breath, just like I taught you, come on you can do it.” He listened as he took deep breaths, in and out, “there you go.”

When he finally calmed down Evan looked up at him and smiled that same little smile he’s done all his life. When Evan came to live with them he remembered how small he’d use to make himself, like he was trying become invisible. He remembered how quiet he was, it broke his heart to see him that way. He had made a promise that day that he’d always make sure he never looked that sad again but now he feels like he let him down.

A soft quiet, “don’t,” interrupted his thoughts, “this is not your fault, you have never broken that promise Kel. You and Maddie are more alike then you think, she’s no doubt blaming herself too but it’s neither of your fault, I let it go on too long...”

“Don’t munchkin, if it’s not my fault, then it’s not your fault. If it’s anyone’s it’s theirs. You had every right to be upset, you know it and I know, they even know it but they’re so stuck on thinking they were protecting you that they can’t see they were only hurting you. I know what it’s like to work with people you consider family but I also know the only kind of protection they need from me is having their backs in the field and the trust in each other to do our jobs effectively and safely. There’s always that fear you’re going to lose someone, it’s part of the job but you can’t let it rule you, you let it guide you. They let it rule them.”

“He’s right Evan.” Maddie said. When Kelly met her eyes he could see the pain and anger in her eyes. “Both you and Howie go to work everyday and there’s a chance you could never make it home but I would never tell you to stop. I have the trust in you that you’ll do your safely and come home to me, nobody gets to make that decision for you but you.”

Kelly could feel Evan pull out of his arms and straight into hers, “I’m sorry Maddie.”

She burrowed into his neck, “you have nothing to apologize for, you did nothing wrong, this is on them.”

“Maddie...”

“No Evan, you’re my brother, it’ll always be you, don’t ever forget that. Now come on, let’s go get some breakfast, maybe show Kelly around and then we’ll figure out where we go next.”

Kelly smiled even though he could still see doubt in his little brother eyes, though there wasn’t as much as there was before. “I am pretty hungry.”

Evens laughed, “luckily we know just the spot.”


	8. Goodbye My Almost Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie realizes his mistakes, but is it too little too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not too sure how I feel about this, but someone said I should write what Bobby said to Buck and thought it was a good idea, this is the only way I knew how.

Eddie sat in the back of the truck watching the city go by, he was so tired, tired of holding onto the anger, the pain, the loss. What he regretted most was the way he had treated Buck. He didn’t see it, what Bucks lawyer said, how Bobby treated him differently, he didn’t see until that last apartment fire they worked. Buck noticed how he was having a hard time with the hose and asked if he was ok and offered to help. That man no matter how bad he was treated still cared and he responded by yelling at him. He started that fight but Bobby had only yelled at Buck and then sent him home and suspended him for a shift all the while not saying one single word to him. It was then that it hit him like a bag a bricks, everything that lawyer had said was the truth, Buck was treated differently.

After that revelation all he wanted to do was fight and fight he did and he almost killed a man. Bobby had found out but he never yelled, he never suspended, nothing he just told him he needed to talk to someone. That afternoon Bobby set him up with Frank and they talked and during that hour session he realized so much. It made him wish he would had talked to someone after he came back from war, but once again he ignored it all. He didn’t want to lose control, but now he was so tired of being in control, so tired of being strong.

Ever since he was a kid his father had always told him to suck it up and move on and so he did or at least he tried but sucking it up only let the anger fester until it exploded. Shannon coming back into their lives and getting Christopher excited about having his mom back only for her to bail out in the end only added to the anger. After that one thing after another kept happening. Shannon dying, the bombing, Buck being trapped under that fire truck sent him back to a sunny, dry and hot dessert. Buck survived and came back stronger but then he had to watch his best friend almost die all over again. After that, it was the tsunami, then the lawsuit and not being able to help his kid, it all just piled up. He was tired of watching the people he loved getting hurt and not being able to help and he hated himself for that because none of it happened to him, he had no right to be this hurt but he couldn’t help it. He had just tried to suck it up like he was raised to but you can only hold so much in before you snap and snap he did. He took it out on the one person who didn’t deserve it, the man who had the biggest heart of them all, the man he loved. And that is what he hated the most about it all, he loved someone he could never have.

Frank had told him he needed to tell Buck all of this and he wanted to, he was going to apologize this morning and he knew it wasn’t going to be enough but it was a start. He wanted to talk to the man, tell him everything, how sorry he was, that he understood and that none of it was his fault, but like everything else in his life nothing goes to plan. He got to work early only to have Bobby make him stand on the floor and when he told Buck of his transfer he wanted to scream. He had finally come to terms with everything, only for his world to come crashing down again. He watched Buck walk away with his shoulders hunched, he called out to him but Buck ignored him and he couldn’t blame him. After that it was like the world was conspiring against him, every time he went to talk to him they received a call. And of course they just had to get a call with only an hour left in shift and now they were on their way back, he just hoped Buck was still there when they got back.

When they pulled into the garage Eddie could see Bucks jeep still parked in the parking lot. He could feel his heart speed up from the nervousness, he just hopes it’s not too late. When they got out of the truck Bobby called out for Buck but he didn’t answer but a couple of seconds later Buck walked out of the locker room in his civilian clothes, he could see just how tired Buck was but he could also see some of that fight he always had in him. Eddie could also see just how angry Bobby was, “Buckley, what are you doing?”

“Going home Captain, my shift over, looks like you’ll have to find some one else to bully. Because I’m done.” Buck tried to walk past him but Bobby grabbed onto his arm and started yelling at him, telling him that he leaves when he says he can leave and how he should’ve never let him back the first time. Eddie was shocked, he had never ever see Bobby put his hands on someone before, he couldn’t move until he looked at Buck and saw the pure unadulterated fear in his eyes and posture, he had never see the man look so small. When he looked at Hen and Chim they were looking down but Eddie wasn’t going to stand and watch Bobby abuse Buck anymore. While he had never said anything to Buck, opting to just ignore him, he let it happen and it made him just as guilty, well not anymore. The next thing he knew he was shoving Bobby away from Buck so hard he fell onto the ground but he didn’t care, all he cared about was Buck. He was about to gather him up into his arms to take him home only to turn around and see him in another mans arms while Maddie was staring at Bobby so hard that if looks could kill he’d be dead.

After a few choice words from Maddie they were gone. All Eddie could see was that terrified look in Bucks eyes, it’s something he’ll never be able to get out of his head. When he turned to look at Bobby he could see the regret in his eyes but he didn’t care, he just lost it, punching Bobby right in the face and not feeling the least bit guilty when he heard an awful crack. “How could you? He trusted you, he trusted all of us, we were his family and we turned our backs on him. Maddie is right, we just lost the best thing to ever happen to us.”

Eddies ignored everything, Hen calling out for him as he walked into the locker room. He looked at the familiar locker next to his and it was empty, including the name tag and he lost it. He ignored the searing pain in his hand as he continuously punched his locker door until he ran out of energy and fell to the floor sobbing into his hands. He didn’t know how long he sat there until he felt someone looking at his hand, it was Hen. “This is broken, you need to go to the hospital, let’s go.”

“Hen...”

“I’m not asking let’s go, I’ll drive you.” He quickly changed and followed her out of the locker room ignoring everyone as he walked past them.

A couple hours later he was walking out of the hospital with a cast on his arm. He got back into Hens car as they took off, “I need you to take me to Bucks.”

“Eddie...I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please Hen, I have to see him, he has to know that none of this is his fault. Hen I’ve never seen him so scared before. Please...”

She reached over and squeezed his knee, “okay, Eddie, okay.” The rest of the ride was silent but Eddie didn’t feel the weight of everything less, in fact it became heavier. He’s not sure if it’ll ever go away but hopefully he can lessen it. “Eddie...” He was so lost in his head that he didn’t notice that they made it to Bucks, “do you want me to wait?”

“No, it’s okay. Go home Hen, be with your family. I’ll see you later.” Eddie made the familiar walk up to his friends, if he can even still call him that, apartment. It took every ounce of courage he had to knock on the door. A couple of seconds later the door opened and he was meant with the man from earlier and Eddie could see a mix of feelings in his eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

The look in his eye made him want to run away but he fought it. “I know I don’t have a right to be here and I’ve made a mess of things but I need him to know that none of this is his fault. It should’ve never taken me this long to realize but it did. And if you tell me right now to walk away then I will, I’ll leave him alone.”

The man released a breath, “I’ll go ask if he wants to see you and the only reason why I’m considering it is because I saw what you did earlier, I don’t think he knows it was you who pushed that man away but if he says no you have to respect that okay?” Eddie nodded his head and he watched the man disappear inside the apartment. About a minute later he came back, “he said yes. Can I ask you something before you go inside, what happened to your hand?”

“I punched our captain and then my locker a few times. I just, he was just so scared and small, I had never seen him like that before. Nobody, but especially Buck should have to feel that way.”

The guy nodded his head, “I’m gonna take a walk around the block, give you two some space. I’ll be back soon, he’s in the loft.” Eddie walked inside and slowly made his way upstairs. When he got to the top of stairs, Buck was leaning up in his bed and he looked exhausted. He tried to get closer but he stopped him.

“No, don’t come any closer. Talk.” Eddie released a breath and held onto his bandage hand as it was starting to throb. He didn’t know where to start, guess starting with I’m sorry is the best way, that sounded suspiciously like Frank.

“Buck, I’m so sorry. I know it’s too late but I need you to know that none of this is your fault, none of it. I messed up, I messed up bad. And I know it’s no excuse and I don’t ever expect you to forgive me but I was just so angry and sad and hurt. I watched as everyone I loved kept getting hurt and there’s was nothing I could do about it. I bottled everything up until it busted and I took it out on the one person who didn’t deserve it. Yeah I was mad about the lawsuit but it was never about you, it was about me. I had come to rely on you so much and when I needed you you weren’t there. But I started talking to a psychologist and he made me realize that I put too much pressure on you, I had come to see you as a second parent and why I love that thought, you’re not, you didn’t owe me or Chris anything. And I just need to tell you I get it, Bobby does treat you differently, I realize that now, he made a decision that wasn’t his to make. You had every right to file that lawsuit. And even if you never want to see me again you need to know that.” He was out of breath he had talked so much. Buck just stared at him and didn’t say a word, he took that for what it was and started walking away knowing he had blown it and he had no one to blame but himself.

“What happened to your hand?” A quiet voice asked.

He turned around, “I punched Bobby and then my locker door.”

“Eddie why would you do that, you could lose your job.”

“I don’t care Buck, he deserves it after what he did. I have never seen you that scared before. He should’ve never grabbed you like that. I pushed him off of you and after Maddie took you away I just snapped and I punched him. I guess it was also me doing to someone what I couldn’t do to myself.”

Buck took a deep breath before speaking again. “You hurt me Eddie. The silence, not being able to see Christopher. If you would’ve came to me with this just a couple days ago I would’ve forgave you but now I just can’t, at least not right away. I deserved better then what all of you gave me, Kelly helped me realize that. I love you Eddie but I need some time. You need to know that I’m leaving, I’m going back with my brother. I need some time away and when I’m ready I’ll call you but for now I need you to respect my wishes.”

A tear fell from his cheek, “of course Buck, I’ll miss you but I get it. I just need one thing and I know I have no right to ask but please before you go please say goodbye to Chris. If you can’t I understand.”

“Of course Eddie.”

Eddie smiled a little, “thank you. For what it’s worth I love you too. I’ll see ya Buck.” Eddie turned to walk away but a quiet wait stopped him.

“Could you just lay with me, just until I fall asleep?”

“Of course.”

Eddie climbed in next to him, what he didn’t expect was for Buck to curl up into his side. Eddie rubbed his head and hummed until he heard Bucks breath even out. He stayed like that for another hour not wanting to leave but he knew he needed to soon. When he heard the front door open Eddie cast one last look down for what could be the last time he saw his best friend, he looked to be at peace. He leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead and slowly got out of the bed, he saw a pad of paper and wrote one final note and walked down the stairs where he saw Kelly looking at him.

“I’m not going to say take care of him because I know you will, better then I ever did, so I’m just going to say thank you.” Eddie didn’t have anything else to say so he started walking towards the door.

“Eddie, I know my brother, he will call you eventually, it might take a while but he will. He loves you and he loves that kid of yours, just give him some time.” Eddie nodded his head and walked out the door. He was able to make it through l the Uber ride, all the way back to his truck before he broke down in ugly sobs. He wanted to fight so bad but he made a promise to himself that he’d never do it again. So he stayed there in the parking lot of the station where he met his home until the tears dried, tomorrow he’ll see Frank but for now he was going to go home to his son and love him and be everything he needed and everything Chris saw him to be.


	9. A New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck wakes up refresh and hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had this chapter written but never published because I wasn’t happy with it. I’ve having problems coming up with some ideas for this story but been having no problem coming up with ideas for other stories. So I’ve decided to combine all those in put them in this story. After this chapter I’m going to be changing some things. I’ll add a note telling you what I changed before I publish the next chapter.

Buck woke to Kelly sitting on his bed with a cup of coffee in his hand. Last night was first night in a very long time where he got a full nights rest. There was no sign that Eddie was even there, “he left a note. Here, I’ll start of breakfast.”

Buck took the coffee and waited for Kelly to disappear down the stairs before he read the note.

_Buck,_

_I know I’ve said it before but I’m saying it again, words cannot describe how sorry I am. I let you down in so many ways. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me. Chris is staying with abuela today, I’ll tell them there’s a chance you’ll stop by. There’s not a day that’ll go by where I won’t miss you. But I understand I hurt you and you need time but whenever you’re ready I’ll be waiting._

_All my love,_

_Eddie_

Buck couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes. He knew he’d see Eddie again, they were inevitable, but until that time comes he going to be the best version of himself. He learned a lot of things in the past month but biggest thing he learned was just how strong he really was. So today he’ll go see Chris, explain things to him the best that he can and say his goodbyes but assure him it’s not forever. This was only the beginning and for the first time in forever Buck was looking forward to the future.


	10. Updated Information

I changed is up again, the backstory is that everything in Chicago Fire is cannon except Galo and Mackey, they don’t exist in my world. The part of season 8 where Galo transfers is going to be the same except it’s not Galo but Buck. After that it’s the same until beginning of Season 9.   
  


And everything in 9-1-1 is cannon except after Buck returns to the 118.

Sorry if I added confusion, I just didn’t like where things were going so I change it back to cannon, any questions feel free to ask.


End file.
